117- Sugarless Gum

My students and I froze all the way up until lunch time today, where, after another heated discussion with my colleagues about The District and their electricity bill, I learned a little teacher trick-of-the-trade. Apparently, the other teachers cheat the system by placing ice cubes or freezer packs on their classroom thermostats. This fools the thermostat into heating the classrooms to a reasonable temperature. “Just don’t get caught,” they warned ominously.
When we finished marveling at the cheapness of The District, our conversation steered towards Ms. Viamonte and Caroline. Rumor has it that Ms. Viamonte goes to Mr. Thorpe’s office and cries everyday. The other teachers have completely shunned the girl; they never speak to her, they don’t include her during lunch, and they refuse to plan lessons with her. Ms. Viamonte is an outcast whose only friends are her students. Despite the silent treatment, Ms. Viamonte is showing no signs of quitting her job.
No one has heard from Caroline. It’s silly, but I keep wondering if we should send her flowers or a cake, or something to let her know that we care. There are stories that she has checked herself into a mental institution. I have also heard that she’s been treating herself to a long vacation at a far away spa. I can only hope the latter is true. No matter what she’s up to, the unfortunate truth is that Caroline has now missed almost five full weeks of work. Unless she has a lot of vacation time saved up, or has found another job, she’ll have to come back soon.
In the midst of our pondering about the fate of Caroline and Ms. Viamonte, Gaby approached the Teacher’s Table. “Teacher! Teacher!” She tugged on the sleeve of my coat.
“This better be important!” Esther barked at Gaby.
I cringed. I hate it when other teachers reprimand my students, especially in front of me. Students are not supposed to disturb the teachers during lunch, unless it is an emergency. Many teachers are adamant about this rule, but I don’t mind and therefore I don’t enforce it as often as other teachers would like.
“Oh, yes!” Gaby nodded. “Very important.”
“Okay, how can I help you?” I gave the girl my full attention, ignoring the glares from Esther and the other teachers.
Gaby help up a granola bar for me to see and pointed at the wrapper, “This says Sugar Free.”
I read the wrapper. “Yes… it does.” I agreed with Gaby. “So?”
“So,” the child’s eyes grew wide, “Once, my mom gave me a piece of sugarless gum and I almost puked.”
Almost puked? Gaby stared and me and waited for a response. What did she expect me to say?
“Are you telling me that you are allergic to sugarless products?” I was confused.
“No!” Gaby laughed. “I just think they’re gross. I mean, after I chewed that sugarless gum, it tasted so gross I threw it outside and my dog wouldn’t even eat it. Now that’s a shame!”
Her dog wouldn’t even eat it?
Baffled, I asked, “Is this seriously what you came over here to tell me?”
Gaby nodded.
I could feel Esther’s frown boring into the back of my head. I tried to remain composed, but couldn’t hold back my own laughter. Kids are so silly!
I gave in to the game, “Okay, so you hate sugarless gum and so does your dog. What does that have to do with your granola bar?”
A priceless grin spread across Gaby’s face, “Do you think it will taste gross, too?”
I shook my head and pointed towards the Kid’s Table, “I don’t know! You’ll just have to try it and find out. Go!”
Gaby went back to her seat and I resumed eating my lunch, still chuckling from our absurd conversation. In mid-chew I realized that all the teachers were glaring in my direction.
“You shouldn’t teach them that it’s okay to come over here and disturb us.” Esther frowned.
I ignored Esther and kept on smiling. Why fight a battle I’d never win?