50- The 6 Types of Parents

I survived Conference Day by the skin of my teeth. I’m exhausted. Parents are a pain in the ass. After you meet a parent, you gain a whole new perspective on their children. I now see why many of my students act the way they do; children’s behavior is a direct reflection of their parents’ personalities. I learned in a psychology class that there are many types of American parents. Listed below are the 6 kinds of parents I most commonly encounter in my classroom:
The 6 Types of Parents
1. Pathetic Parent- The Pathetic Parent doesn’t really want to help their child, they just want to appear like they want to help. Pathetic Parents acts as if they are greatly interested in helping their child, but for one reason or another can never follow through on their plans. They will fake enthusiasm for a new study program or suggestion to do at home with their child, “Oh, yes! I’ll read with my child, it’ll be great.” Four weeks later, they return and helplessly claim, “No, that plan didn’t work. What can I do now?” The study plan didn’t work because the Pathetic Parent never bothered to try.

2. The Evasive Parent- The Evasive Parent is the most difficult to get in touch with. They are the parents who come from sketchy home lives and usually have something to hide. Turd Boy, Josh, and Nelson are all children of evasive parents. They avoid teachers and school officials at all costs. These parents will do anything they can to keep conversation from turning to home life. Evasive Parents are notorious for insulting teachers, just to take the pressure off themselves, “Maybe if you learned how to teach better, my child wouldn’t act out.” If the Evasive Parent can keep others defensive, they can remove the focus from themselves.
3. The High- Horse Parent- Most parents are High- Horse Parents, and they are commonly found in middle to upper class families. These parents view anything their child has done as a direct reflection of themselves. High- Horse Parents take everything personally and often become defensive. If a teacher were to express concern that a child was not completing homework, the parent would be insulted, “I am a busy person, we’re all so tired by the end of the day… that homework assignment was too lengthy!” It’s also common for a High-Horse Parent to be in denial. “My child always completes her homework. We are from a good family where children value school.” Class Mommy is a prime example if a High- Horse Parent.
4. The Parent Who Hates Authority- The Parent Who Hates Authority is typically an individual who has been in trouble or in a state of rebellion throughout their life. These parents are stereotypically thugs and old hippies; they often refer to police officers as “pigs” and the government as “The Man.” Parents Who Hate Authority usually have had a past negative experience with an authority figure, and they now transfer their bad feelings onto all other authority figures. These parents do not respect teachers and encourage their children to be disrespectful as well.

5. The Respectful Parent- The opposite of The Parent Who hates Authority, The Respectful Parent loves teachers. The Respectful Parent commonly has other teachers, administrators, or military personnel in their lives. Gaby, Ajith, and Kathleen all come from Respectful Parent families. This type of parent is a pleasure to work with and their children are typically well behaved.
6. The Realistic Parent- There are only a few Realistic Parents. Realistic Parents are reasonable individuals who acknowledge when there is a problem with their child and dutifully look for a solution. If the teacher suggests that a child needs to spend more time studying, the Realistic Parent will make more study time for their child. Alternatively, if a Realistic Parent has an objection to a classroom procedure or policy, they will tactfully express their concerns in a polite manner. Hannah and Robbie both have Realistic Parents.