62- Halloween Party

Francesca showed up to school today wearing a ballerina costume. She is the only student in the entire school who did not follow school rules. She is the only kid who wore a costume.
“Don’t you love my tutu?” Francesca did a little twirl past my desk.
“Gorgeous.” I muttered. I couldn’t blame Francesca; it was her mother that I wanted to kill.
Class Mommy arrived, as scheduled, five minutes after recess. She carried with her a large Tupperware container and a giant shoulder bag. “Healthy snacks and party gifts!” she declared with enthusiasm.
Following Class Mommy’s orders, I began to pass around napkins and juice boxes to the children. I watched with a fearful eye as Class Mommy loosened the lid on her Tupperware container. As she pulled the lid from its base, students cheered with delight.
“Cookies!” They yelled. “Teacher never gives us cookies! You are so nice, Class Mommy!”
“Help yourselves, kids! I made enough for each of you to have four.”
Cookies? Four each. Oh my god.
I rushed over to Class Mommy. “School rules. We can only have healthy snacks in the classroom. No candy. No cookies.” I glared at her.
In an elegantly manicured hand, Class Mommy held up a cookie. “They’re oatmeal cookies. Oatmeal is healthy.”
I stared at the cookie. Painted in the center, in sugary frosting, was a picture of a devil. Horrified, I looked down at the large tray of cookies. On each cookie was an individual Halloween picture: devils, bats, witches, ghosts, and vampires.
“Happy Halloween, kids! I also brought you party favors.” Class Mommy reached into her shoulder bag and began to withdraw small treat bags. She circled the room, handing each student a treat bag.
I watched as Robbie tore open his treat bag. Inside were a pencil (with little ghosts all over it), Jack-o-Lantern stickers, and a tiny scroll. Rob unrolled the scroll. “Cool! Taylor, check it out! Magic spells!”
Magic what? I yanked the scroll from Robbie’s hands. In small, whimsical font were three spells: A Spell for Riches, A Spell for Love, and A Spell to Turn Someone into a Toad.
“NO!” I don’t think I have ever yelled in my classroom before. “No! No! No! Give me your treat bags. You can’t have them.” I scurried throughout the room, yanking treat bags from my students’ hands. The last thing I needed was to get fired for promoting witchcraft.
Class Mommy protested, “I didn’t put any candy in those bags.”
I ignored Class Mommy and continued to collect the Halloween paraphernalia. Once finished, I took a poll, “Raise your hand if your family does not celebrate Halloween. Be honest.”
Both Ajith and Gaby put their hands in the air. After explaining to them that they were not in any trouble, I sent them to Caroline’s classroom to work on their Science assignments. I felt guilty about targeting their religious beliefs, but I had to get them out of the classroom.
Class Mommy frowned disapprovingly at me, as if I were horribly mean. My actions may have seemed rather extreme, but The District has adamantly insisted that we take every precaution to avoid crossing any cultural or religious boundaries. Several years ago, a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses sued a school district in South Carolina for allowing their daughter to participate in a class Halloween party. I glared back at Class Mommy, wishing I could tell her that it was her fault that I was mean. I wanted to tell her to get out of my classroom and never come back.
Seething in fury, I allowed my students ten more minutes to finish their cookies. I did my best to avoid Class Mommy, but eventually she caught me.
“Don’t you think Francesca makes a beautiful ballerina?”
I could barely look that suburban sociopath in the eye, “Students were not supposed to wear their Halloween costumes to school today.”
Class Mommy feigned surprise, “Well! Francesca told me that you said she looked gorgeous!”