45- Dares

A quarter of the way through my first year of teaching, and I’ve learned that children can be quite eccentric characters. I am baffled by the unusual choices they make. This morning, Hannah thanked me for “whatever you wrote on that note”, because last night her parents bought her a jumbo sized bag of chicken nuggets for her to eat when ever she wants. “I just have to make sure they’re hot.” Hannah bragged. Botulism would be a terrible fate for a child.
My Wolverine student, Robbie, has won the award for worst decision maker. During recess, Robbie followed through with a wicked dare from Josh and Taylor. Each afternoon, on the playground and unbeknownst to the teachers, a small group of boys have been challenging each other to dares. It started with silly bets, like, “I bet you won’t eat this cookie that dropped on the ground” and “I bet you are too chicken to ask Gaby to marry you.” Over time these childish bets have escalated into more serious dares, “I dare you to eat this booger” and “I dare you to throw this pinecone at Ajith’s head.”
The boys pride themselves on being brave and brag that they can accept any dare. Of course, if I or any of the other teachers had known what was happening, we would have put an immediate end to the revelers’ games. Unfortunately, we were unaware, and today the dares reached a new level of severity.
It all started when Robbie asked for permission to go to the restroom during recess. I allowed him to go. I checked my watch and waited three, five, ten minutes. Robbie did not return. Annoyed, I asked Caroline and Esther to watch over my class while I went to check on Robbie.
Standing outside of the boys’ restroom door, I knocked. For legal reasons, teachers are not allowed to enter student restrooms. I was able to swing the main door open and hold it with my foot. I could hear whimpering inside.
Maybe the kid is constipated and now I’m interrupting him.
I felt guilty, but I had to check. “Robbie! Are you in there?”
“Yes.” A strained voice called back. “Can you call my mom, please?”
Call his mom? Why?
“Are you feeling all right?” I called.
“I’m feeling fine. I need my mom. WILL YOU PLEASE CALL MY MOM?” Robbie started to cry.
Robbie is a tough kid, not the crying type. I could tell by the sound of his voice that something was truly wrong. I did call his mom, and Principal, too. Principal waited outside the restroom for the boy’s mother to arrive, and I met the rest of my students on the playground. The other teachers and I speculated that the kid must have a severe case of constipation or diarrhea.
About an hour later, The Intimidator arrived in my classroom; she was looking for Josh and Taylor. Both had been acting suspiciously quiet since recess ended. Several times Josh had suddenly erupted into fits of laughter. At the sight of The Intimidator, both boys looked panic stricken. Before removing the boys from my classroom, The Intimidator filled me in on what had been happening.
The playground scandal was uncovered. Robbie confessed when his mother arrived. The latest dare, thought up by Josh and supported by Taylor, was for Robbie to visit the restroom and insert a small chunk of soap into his rear end. The plan was for Rob to hold the soap in place for the rest of the day, and then after school he would deposit the soap in his own home toilet for Josh and Taylor to see. Robbie had accepted the challenge.
The boy actually went into the bathroom and shoved a piece of soap up his own rear-end. He confessed to his mother while still seated on the school’s toilet. Apparently the sting of the soap was making it very difficult for Robbie to expel the object properly. Principal declared that bathroom off-limits for the rest of the day, and Robbie spent the next few hours crying to his mother.
Thankfully, Robbie’s mom exhibited a tough love attitude and insisted that her son had gotten what he deserved. I was worried that she may have been angry at me for failing to prevent the situation. We all agreed that the boy had learned a lesson. Josh and Taylor were suspended for two days.
I couldn’t help but wish it had been Turd Boy who had taken the dare.