56- Hit On

I didn’t want to come to work today. I decided not to tell Caroline about her husband and Ms. Viamonte. Maybe I’m the jackass now, but I don’t want to get involved. I want to be an Elementary School teacher, not a candidate for the Jerry Springer show. I saw Caroline in the hallway this morning and she was as smiley as ever. She doesn’t know. That makes me feel awful. And relieved.
My substitute on Friday was a useless slob. She did not follow any of the plans that I left and instead allowed the kids to watch cartoons all day. That is the price teachers have to pay for taking the day off from a school like this. Not many people want to be substitutes in our neighborhood, so the few that show up are often lazy and unreliable. Many times the sub will not show up at all and another teacher will have to take over your class. (No, this is not incentive enough for me to give up my precious 3-day weekends.)
I spent the day catching up on lessons that should have been taught on Friday. My students took turns recounting the ridiculous events with the substitute.

Robbie: That lady fell asleep while we were watching Reading Rainbow.
At least the sub had enough sense to put the TV on an educational channel.
Ajith: I liked her. She let me go to the restroom 11 times.
The other kids probably warned the substitute that Ajith wets his pants.
Kramer: That woman didn’t say nothin’ when Josh spit goobers on the ceiling.
It is easier to ignore certain behaviors than to correct them.
The worst part of my day was right before dismissal. I was reading a story to my students on the Reading Rug when Linda’s father, Mr. Villagomez walked into the room. He motioned for me to come speak with him, so I asked Hannah, one of the better readers, to continue reading the story.
Oh, god. Please don’t tell my boss that you saw me at that bar...
I met Mr. Villagomez by the door, where he greeted me with a big hug. This felt awkward; a parent has never touched me before.
Mr. Villagomez appeared nervous. Confused, I asked him if he were there to pick up Linda.
“No.” Mr. Villagomez, who spoke with a thick Mexican accent, shook his head. “Well… yes! Si. Yes, I will take Linda home, but before that…” His voice trailed off and I started to feel a little worried. The man hesitated a minute and then continued, “It was really great to see you at the bar the other night and…”
Oh, damn!
“…and I was wondering if I could take you on a date sometime.”
A date? God, no!
I unclenched my teeth and forced a smile. “Uh. Ummm. Gosh!” When I’m nervous or uncomfortable I fall into Leave-It-To-Beaver mode and sputter a lot of words like gosh and gee-wiz. “Gee, Mr. Villagomez…”
“Call me Juan.” He winked.
Is this guy kidding me?
I could feel my face turning beet red. “Juan, I’m flattered, but…”
“No buts, just say yes. I know how to treat a lady.” He winked again.
Gross.
“I have a boyfriend.”
Mr. Villagomez smiled arrogantly, “A boyfriend?” He looked amused. “You don’t need no boyfriend. You need a man that is good to his lady.”
I looked Mr. Villagomez up and down. At about 5 feet 5 inches, he stood an inch shorter than me. His dark hair was greased back on the sides and spiked on the top. He was wearing a blue silk shirt and several gold chains around his neck. Clearly this man thought he was suave.
“Look, sir, I am really flattered, but I can’t date the parents of my students. It’s a school rule.” I lied. “I could lose my job.”
Mr. Villagomez stepped closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face. He smelled like Doritos and heavy cologne. He put his hand on my shoulder, “No worries. I can be discreet.”
I slapped his hand away and stepped back.
Discreet? Has he mistaken me for a hooker?
I glared at him. “No.”
He tried to say something else, but I cut him off with another, “No.” I called Linda over to protect me. “Linda! Time to go. Grab your backpack.”
I went to my desk and pretended to grade papers.
What a stinky creep.
I ignored Mr. Villagomez and his daughter as they left my classroom. That jerk. I hope he got the message.