64- Farting

I cherish the time during the day when my students go to Related Areas: Art, Music, PE, Chorus, Computer Lab, etc. This is the free time during my day when I have the opportunity to get my head straight. Sometimes I grade papers, sometimes I make copies, other times I plan lessons. The 40 minute break is also the time when I regain my strength; I soothe my vocal chords and rest my eyes.
This afternoon, while the students were at Art, I happily graded papers in silence. The serenity of my classroom was abruptly interrupted by Josh. He crashed through the door and stomped over to the front of my desk. Frowning, he threw a crumpled note at the floor and then stomped over to his own desk. I didn’t say a word, but watched as he took a seat and buried his head in his arms.
Oh, brother. I rolled my eyes and reached down to retrieve the note. What did he do this time?
I smoothed out the crinkles in the note. Reading it once, I blinked in disbelief. I smoothed out a few more crinkles to make sure I had read the note correctly. Sure enough, after reading it three times, I confirmed that the note contained one simple sentence, signed by Ms. Williamson the Art teacher.

Josh won’t stop farting.
-K. Williamson

Won’t stop farting?
I looked up from the paper just in time to see Josh raise his head from his arms. Our eyes met. I blinked. He blinked and then let a loud, ripping fart. “Pfffffffaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrtt!” His chair vibrated under the force.
I choked back a gasp.
Josh raised his hand to his forehead and gave me a brisk, military salute.
Jesus, this kid is a whacko.
“Do you need to use the restroom?” I asked him.
“No, ma’am.” The boy replied sweetly.
We spent the rest of my Planning Period sitting in my classroom together. I refused to play Josh’s game and deliberately ignored the boy. I knew things would get worse if I indulged his attention getting scheme. Every few minutes the silence would be broken by a brand new, roaring fart. Luckily, they all seemed to be odorless.